(No. 62) Sex after 90, imagining Deliverance, metabolism alert, by Stephen P. Williams
First, while reading an advice column, I came across this question from a 90-something year old guy:
“As nonagenarians, should my wife and I limit sexual activity to three times a week?”
Read the answer here.
I received a few lovely emails from readers after my last newsletter. I really appreciated them, but I didn’t immediately respond. That’s because I went on a 4,000 mile road trip to report for a book project and lost track of everything. My apologies for not replying.
Along with my youngest daughter, Aspen, I drove from New York City to northern Maine, then along the Canadian border to Detroit and up into far Northern Michigan, camping most of the way. Along a two-lane road in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula we saw a sign for a farm stand, and turned onto a dirt road into some dark woods. Oh, we thought, this is where we have our Deliverance moment.
Many people in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula are very opinionated. Photograph by Stephen P. Williams
Instead, after a quarter mile the road opened into a homestead where an older man played with his feisty German Shepherd while a woman straightened up the vegetables that were for sale. We bought some very tired and tough fall onions, raspberries and potatoes as the man told us how much he loved his dog, a rambunctious but well-behaved nine year old.
“I hope I die before this guy does,” the man said, scratching the dog’s ears.
I was surprised. He couldn’t bear the thought of being left behind, but he didn’t mind the thought of leaving the dog, and his wife, to carry on without him. I’ve been pondering just what this means. Was he being selfish? Fearful? A comedian? I will never know, because right after saying that he went in the house to take a nap.
These days I find myself less fearful of my own death than I am fearful of other people’s sadness at my death. Ha ha. That’s kind of nuts -- and supremely self-centered. I think it’s a symptom of thanatophobia, a common anxiety that generally peaks in a person’s mid-twenties. Oh well, even newsletter writers have flaws.
Cure boredom and slow aging
This is the best pushup video ever made. Totally insane.
A candy bowl of news you might enjoy.
This is a surprising, and melancholy story about Japanese twin sisters who were ostracized in their youth and now live in separate nursing homes as the oldest twins in the world.
Straight from the source
“If you don’t like it, keep on walking. Go through the door and don’t come back.”
Your dog deserves to keep you happy
Do you love your dog? (Everyone will say yes, even if they don’t actually like their pet.) Because of that, you want your dog to live longer, right? Silicon Valley might have a solution to the non-problem of completely normal dog life cycles.
Breathe yourself to sleep.
Sleep can be elusive; breath is always there. Your breath can help you embrace the ether and fall into Neverland. Meaning, breathe like this to beat insomnia.
Is that fish fresh?
Once in a while I will unwrap a piece of beautiful, fresh Montauk-caught tuna and feel the impulse to throw it in the trash. I have to have someone else cook it, because ever since having Covid-19 in March, 2020, I’ve experienced occasional parosmia, where some foods suddenly smell like sewage or garbage. My senses of smell and taste returned after about 17 months, but the parosmia continues, now and then. I’m not alone.
I’ve always thought that metabolism slowed gradually, year after year. But new research shows that your metabolism stays about the same from age 20 to age 60. Then it slows. And perhaps you get fat. (Warning: some of the comments accompanying this article are inane.)
A 42-degree morning at our Michigan campsite. I can see why people haul big campers around. Selfie by Self.
I look forward to hearing from you. I’m curious to know what you’d like me to write about next time. Until then, cheers! Stephen